This is my first official post since migrating from Tumblr to Blogspot. I was unable to transfer everything so I'm taking this as a sign to start fresh which ironically is where my life is headed as well. At the end of the blog I invite you to share your stories, thoughts, ideas so please do!
From January until now, I've been learning how to love and what an amazing transformation it's been. I'm in my first real relationship with a wonderful, patient, and loving man who really is an answer to my prayers. He is by no means perfect but because of him I've been able to know myself more completely: what I deserve, how I can improve, and what it's like to be selfless. His ability to forgive when I've been wrong and move forward has opened my eyes to what it's like to love and be loved.
I've also discovered what true joy is because of the insurmountable pain I've experienced. The difficulties that arose within my relationship and the uncomfortable feelings associated with figuring out who I am caused me to suffer which opened a part of my soul in a way that I was able to receive the greatest light. There's something poetic about needing to be completely broken to receive the greatest personal revelations. I learned so much about myself, how life works, and how total dependence on the Lord brings much blessings. I'd rather skip the suffering altogether but now I feel more complex, compassionate, and humble. The trials have exposed parts of me I didn't know existed: unwanted attitudes, beliefs, and roadblocks but also beautiful, vulnerable areas of me.
I've also discovered what true joy is because of the insurmountable pain I've experienced. The difficulties that arose within my relationship and the uncomfortable feelings associated with figuring out who I am caused me to suffer which opened a part of my soul in a way that I was able to receive the greatest light. There's something poetic about needing to be completely broken to receive the greatest personal revelations. I learned so much about myself, how life works, and how total dependence on the Lord brings much blessings. I'd rather skip the suffering altogether but now I feel more complex, compassionate, and humble. The trials have exposed parts of me I didn't know existed: unwanted attitudes, beliefs, and roadblocks but also beautiful, vulnerable areas of me.
I've read books about love (The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm), happiness (The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin), and authenticity (Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach). I've prayed, practiced, and stumbled my way to what true happiness and love means in my life. I now try to have moments of quiet, less things scheduled on my calendar, and more quality time with those I love. Facebook is no longer a priority, my finances are in order (Dave Ramsey's budgeting tools have given me immense financial freedom), and relying on the Lord for happiness and fulfillment has produced tremendous blessings. I discovered that I held other's opinions too highly and felt out of control of my own life.
There's so much experience ahead for me and a great life to be lived. What a blessing it is to overcome and expand. I pray for strength, humility, and confidence in the road that lies ahead. I love hearing others' stories: their struggles, triumphs, and lessons. If you feel inclined I'd love to hear about lessons you've learned this year as well.
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